My christmas giift and neopogen guinea pig

Today is Christmas day. I am stucked in my mom's house for five days. Nothing to do here- just blogging and doing some reflections. Btw, What is my gift from God? I hope the seven embryos are indeed a gift of God. I hope this entails implantation.

According to the nurse, my 5 embryo are of outstanding quality. I don't want another false hope here. Good embryo quality does not guarantee an implantation.  This reminds me of Neupogen. Yay! I am a bit skeptical on its safety.

What is Neupogen?

I am poor in decision making. To use or not to use Neupogen? If I don't use Neupogen and implantation failure happens, I will blame myself for being stubborn.  Neupogen does not guarantee implantation either.

What is wrong if Neupogen is a new drug? New drug= new hope (+ new risk?). If I wait for this drug to mature in the market, I guess I am already in menopausal state! The ultimate question here is whether I want to volunteer to be a Neupogen guinea pig?