What was the culprit?

What was the culprit behind my vaginal bleeding? Was it the bitter melon? I ate bitter melon yesterday and I found on the web that it may cause fetal bleeding. Some sites say it is safe though. What can i do, the harm is already there.
I continue with my medications today. Am I banking on false hope? Should my donor proceed with blood letting? I cant wait to see my obgyne today.
Dear god, pls grant me happy, healthy, intelligent babies. I would rather choose miscarriage than having children with birth defects. I am scared.

Where is my motivation?

I went into panic mode in the early evening. I was so nervous when I saw my hands full of blood. My bathroom lighting switch was also covered with blood. When I came back home, I still smelled the blood odor in my toilet. I wiped the blood stains and I am still hoping that I will move on to the next chapter of my pregnancy.  I have the strong feeling that my embryos are safe. Thank god. No more bleeding.

I dont know if I will regret my cheat day. For now, I am still contemplating my next action plan. I dont know if I would dare to get pregnant again. May it add toll to my health? Whenever I read the literature attached to the medicine, I see cancer, thrombosis...  Sometimes, I am chickening out. Where is my motivation?

I just spent 120k pesos for my ivig last sunday. Is my miscarriage too soon? Why prolong the agony, if this twins is not meant for me?  If miscarriage / preterm would happen in my second trimester, perhaps I will cry more. Dear god, pls dont break my heart.  Come what may.

For now, im blogging. Trying to keep myself sane. From now on,  I will abide house arrest and bed rest. I hope its not yet late. I just wish for happy, intelligent, healthy babies, if god permits.

Cheat day- 6w5d

Today is a cheat day. I walked to a bakeshop to buy a cake for my godson. I delivered the cake. Then, I shopped and dine with my baby at the nearby mall. Is driving prohibited during pregnancy? I drove to my doctor last Saturday night as well. After all, I should not act like a sleepy pig at home.

We shopped and dined at the nearby mall. My baby's eating mood this afternoon was the total opposite at lunch. He is a picky eater. I was so happy with the volume of ramen he slurped down. I had my own share of gluten enriched ramen. It was yummy. I will be gluten free again tomorrow.

When I arrived home, I watched how my playful son walk and how he pulls along my bag. After few minutes his nanny came. I went to my room to check my pending emails. Then, suddenly I felt my pants were wet. Am i experiencing urinary incontinence? I rush to the toilet and discovered those were fresh blood.

I rushed to the hospital afterwards. The ultrasound department has cut off at 5 pm. The resident docto just said there was no wound and polyp on the cervix. Now, the bleeding had stopped. I have just returned home. Are the babies safe? I will go to my obgyne tomorrow morning. I guess the bleeding came from the inside of my uterus. Do we still have heartbeats?

Two heartbeats

It was indeed two heartbeats. Double the blessing, double the excitement! Btw, There is a big difference between fraternal and identical twins. Fraternal twins means two sets of HLA. What am I carrying fraternal or identical twins? Fraternal twins means stronger immune response. Oh my god. I thought I am spared from ivig, since we have these heartbeat already.

 I am having my ivig infusion right now. I will be also needing LIT amid the zika virus scare. what is the incidence of zika virus in Manila?  Zika is self limiting. Patients may heal on its own without knowing they had zika.

Vaginal progesterone .... Which brand would you prefer?

I am not here to comment on my serum progesterone level. Which lab tells the correct reading: The lab far far away or the nearby lab? 12 hour after Gestone 50mg injection my serum progesterone level was 33.8 and this was done in Hong Kong.  It appears to my local obgyne that my progesterone is terrible low. My uterine lining is very thin. She said I am at risk of miscarriage. perhaps, she was correct. In this pregnancy, the injection site of Gestone became tender and itchy. Perhaps, my anti progesterone antibodies were acting up. So, what was my progesterone level last week? I was surprised with the lab result. It was 86. Is this value true?

First visit to my local obgyne has changed my medication to : utrogestan oral + crinone + proluton depot 250. I made a nice alibi on my second consult. Oral utrogen makes me dizzy and inserting utrogestan on vaginal route will not expose me to more risk of infection because whether I insert Utrogestan pessary or not, I have to insert Estrofem pessary.  She insisted she doesnt want me to be inserting too many medicines in my vagina.

Which product is more potent Utrogestan 200x 2 / day or Crinone once a day + duphaston oral 10mg x3/day? Why Crinone is used once a day only? In fact, it just contains 90mg of progesterone.

I hate Utrogestan for its sticky slimy discharge. Pee (ammonia) smell became an integral part of me. I dont know if my son's nanny can smell it or not. My panty gets wet more frequent. my panty was drier with crinone. Fewer episodes of smelly vagina.

While I was inserting Estrofem tonight, I felt my clumps in my vagina. I wish I could insert a mini vaccuum cleaner or spoon to scrape of my the vaginal lumps. I digged those vaginal clumps out. Is it advisable to dig out my vaginal clumps. Can the clamps cause vaginal infection? Did anyone experience the same? I choose Utrogestan over Crinone. 

I borrowed gall from the heavens

I wish to give my little boy sibling (s). But, my previous birthing experience demotivates me. I dont know how I borrowed gall from the heavens. (Gall symbolizes bravery... Its a chinese idiom.)

Since, it is in my possession. Let us get the balls rolling.

I realized that I was extremely lucky this cycle. My Amazing Race Hk went successful. Implantation was also successful. I have the strong feeling that the yolk sac shall appear on twin B. I have the steong feeling that they are god sent. I pray my fate will not be tricky. I am really a coward person. I dont want to get hurt.

My new hunch is prednisolone is causing liver and kidney havoc. But, i am now a little bit confident that this will be addressed tomorrow. I hope I can see my beloved immunologist tomorrow.

I was sleepless last night, perhaps because of the milk coffee, milk tea and peppermint tea. I was craving for milk tea yesterday. I was craving for the cheap cheap hong kong restaurant milk tea not those from milk tea bars. I wasnt satisfied with the milk tea I got.  I had two rounds of midnight snack last night. Btw, I discovered having some food on my stomach makes me less nauseous. 

My extreme challenge

Should I do my FET this cycle or not? If I postpone it, next month would be December. If unsuccessful, the Christmas holiday and Chinese New Year holidays shall postpone my schedule even further. I just dont want to get pregnant or give birth to babies in the year of the dog. Dog conflicts with dragon. I am a lady dragon. Am I very superstitious? I just wanted to avoid it. Somebody made a fortune telling on me before about birth defect in the year of the dog.

If I pursue FET this cycle that means I will miss the Canton Fair for at least three seasons. Which is more important business or babymaking? I tried to be selfish. I chose babymaking as my topmost priority. But, my greediness lures me to visit the fair. Yeah... I transit in Hong Kong. That is easy. Manila-Hong Kong- Guangzhou-Hong kong- Manila.

Last cycle,my lining was ready on day12. I usually ovulate early. Day 12 visit to my HK doctor's clinic was not a bad idea after all. My timing was heaven sent. I was bothered when my HK doctor asked me to come back in two days. My lining was not yet ready. How can that be? That means I need to reschedule my flight back to Hong kong? Or travel by land to Hong kong?  Forfeit my plane ticket? How can I be in the fair for one day only? I haggled to go back after three days. Then, I got guilty afterwards.  Would the one day delay affect my implantation success?

I was not having any mucus discharge on day 12. I got guilty of my greediness. The LH surge was still negative on day 13. I retested the LH surge in that evening. By the way, is there a flight back to Hong kong and /or Manila on my day 14? Anyway, Dr. Doo allowed me to go back to see him on my Day 15. That means he has assurance that one day delay in ovulation monitoring has no significant impact on the success rate. Since he can adjust when to put the embryo. Day 14 morning came, there was no stcky discharge yet. The LH surge was still negative. Did i drink too much water? Can too much water affects the LH kit surge result?  Then, that evening I started to see my much awaited mucus discharge. But, I forgot to test again that evening if my LH surge status.  Tomorrow is Day 15. I have a flight from Guangzhou to Hong kong. If i missed my Hong kong to manila flight, there is no more seat left even on business class and first class. What shall I do? It seems impossible to catch my plane if I am on three hour transit.  If I go back to Manila on Day16, the business class ticket one way from Hong kong to Manila is 6500 HKD cathay and  3000 HKD on Philippine airline. Crazy! Well it seems that my mistake was blessing in disguise.

Shhh... I dont know why i was so stupid? My Guangzhou hotel check out was on Nov4. But my plane ticket appears that I will be flying out Guangzhou on Nov3. I am a stingy person. What if i travel back to Guangzhou by train and flight to Manila from Guangzhou? Nice idea yeah... I get to use my excess hotel night in Guangzhou. Guangzhou to Manila flight only cost less than 800 RMB. I purchased the Guangzhou- Manila flight as an assurance. Hehe, my spare ticket just in case, I was left by our plane.

Then, Day 15 morning came, my LH kit returns a big smile. Oops, did I ovulated today or yesterday night? Will the timing have effect on the implantation success?  Luckily, our guangzhou to Hong Kong flight arrived 10 minutes early. I need to run as fast as I could. I need to be boarded on our plane within three hours. I realized that I am extremely lucky. I was one of the last passengers to board the plane back to Manila. Our flight was 15 minutes delayed. Thank you Cathay for the mini delay! Imagine that I looked much like a contestant in the Amazing Race, except that my backpack is smaller -toiletries/lingerie/ a set of outfit only. My lugguage was checkin. Thank you Hong Kong Government for the frequent visitor's e-channel.