one, two, three, push, push, push... I am not yet in labor. Was there an aerobics class ongoing in the obgyne complex? I used to hear one, two, three, push... push in the gym.
My NST today was great. No contraction. But, I do feel contraction while sitting and walking. I need to have a little more patience on my complete bed rest. Hmmm... can I really have a complete bed rest? I am experiencing acid reflux, if I lay on bed shortly after eating. My butt and shoulders are aching because of prolonged lying on the bed.
Monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday... 4 days to go. Im scared. By the way, I will be going to have c-section instead of vaginal delivery. My immunologist would not allow me to contract as it will cut off the oxygen supply to the baby. Please wish me luck. 🙏
Sunday, August 30, 2015
Friday, August 28, 2015
5 days to go
Estimated fetal weight: Week31- 1861 g, week32- 2536 g, week 33- 2168g week 34- 2233g, week35 tuesday 2363g and week35- 2913g
Is the sharp fetal weight gain caused by my sweet tooth? But, i did not gain weight this month. Or was it ultrasound measurement error? I dont know why my obgyne had moved our c-section sched to its orignal date- sept 3. She just agreed on thursday to move the cs schedule earlier. Perhaps, she believes that the baby is continuosly growing. And there is no need for a rush c-section. The data are on her chart. I just dont know whether she analyses it or not.
Although the fetal weight appeared to be heavier. Its BPD and FL became shorter, compared to the measurment 3 days ago. Ai... I want to believe on my immunologist comments. Im scared. Anyway, I will just trust my beloved obgyne. If she wants to delay so be it. But, i am afraid of brain damage and still birth.
5 days to go and it will be sept 3.
Is the sharp fetal weight gain caused by my sweet tooth? But, i did not gain weight this month. Or was it ultrasound measurement error? I dont know why my obgyne had moved our c-section sched to its orignal date- sept 3. She just agreed on thursday to move the cs schedule earlier. Perhaps, she believes that the baby is continuosly growing. And there is no need for a rush c-section. The data are on her chart. I just dont know whether she analyses it or not.
Although the fetal weight appeared to be heavier. Its BPD and FL became shorter, compared to the measurment 3 days ago. Ai... I want to believe on my immunologist comments. Im scared. Anyway, I will just trust my beloved obgyne. If she wants to delay so be it. But, i am afraid of brain damage and still birth.
5 days to go and it will be sept 3.
Thursday, August 27, 2015
3 days to go
We have to fast track to c-s delivery day. I have minor contraction last night. It was caught during my NST. But, I did not feel anything unusual. The intern said he had touched by tummy during the spike in the tracings. My muscle had indeed contracted. Anyway, that was just a minor contraction. I was given a tocolytic for that matter. No worries.
This morning, I have received an email from my dearest immunologist. He complains that there is a growth discrepancy between the head and abdomen of the fetus. The deceleration of growth is because of placental damage on top of placental ageing. ... The growth deceleration during the last 2-3 ultrasounds means the placenta is progressively deteriorating. ... Be prepared in case I have to deliver before wednesday next week.
Deteriorating? Early delivery? Oh my god. I need to take it out as soon as possible! I dont want the baby to die in my womb.
This morning, I have received an email from my dearest immunologist. He complains that there is a growth discrepancy between the head and abdomen of the fetus. The deceleration of growth is because of placental damage on top of placental ageing. ... The growth deceleration during the last 2-3 ultrasounds means the placenta is progressively deteriorating. ... Be prepared in case I have to deliver before wednesday next week.
Deteriorating? Early delivery? Oh my god. I need to take it out as soon as possible! I dont want the baby to die in my womb.
Sunday, August 23, 2015
10 days to go
Why I tend to stare at my calendar and do my countdown? Hey... I know it is just 10 days to go. I am still scared. Maybe I have an obsessive compulsive disorder! I am still afraid. To me, 10 days is too long. Many unexpected things may still happen.
Dear God, Please don't let me cry.
Hi baby, which name do you want? Alexander Gerard, Sean Alexander, Mark Alexander or none of the above?
Dear God, Please don't let me cry.
Hi baby, which name do you want? Alexander Gerard, Sean Alexander, Mark Alexander or none of the above?
My stress factors this pregnancy
1. Crp + while waiting for heartbeat (week 5-6)
2. Dim ultrasounds - low progesterone
3. Irregular shaped gestational sac week 6
4. Bluffed by obgyne regarding amniotic fluid level week 7
5. Kct, drvvt - i have soya and tofu quota. I detest its taste.
6. Low albumin- i eat like a vacuum cleaner. I may habe to shake my tummy to fill more food. My protein intake was never enough
7. Sleepless
8. Bloated stomach
9. Ultrasound measurements - gestational diabetes issue and intrauterine growth retardation issue
Overall, I feel a am lucky compared to those who suffers morning sickness. My main stress factor is food intake. I just feel like I am stucked in the opinions of my three doctors during my third trimester. I sometimes suspect on the accuracy of my obgyne's ultrasound measurements. Sometimes the abdominal circumference is lagging. One time the abdominal circumference was 4 weeks ahead. Too much amniotic fluid and low amniotic fluid. Do I really have gestational diabetes? Should i be really on insulin? Why sometimes I experience hypoglycemia? Obgyne told me not to diet, I should take insulin instead. Immunologist told me that my target albumin level is 39. It had dropped from 42 and My albumin was just around 36 even when I am on 42 tablets of amino acids. My target fetal weight gain is 150g per week. Unfortunately, I was not on track but I am always full. He adjusted the target week gain per week to 200g. I need to catch up. He added Heraclene in order to enhance my protein absorption and to boost my appetite even further. Because, the fetus should hit the target weight of 2.5kg by the end of week 35. Ouch, ouch intrauterine growth retardation? I should eat more protein enriched foods. I remember one time during the consult my husband called me to ask what do I want for midnight snack? My immunologist smiled and replied: beef tenderloin. Ehem... Endocrinologist asked me not to over eat. Maximum weight gain 1 kg/ week for me. I am gaining about 2kg/week. My sugar is usually within normal range. My insulin resistance is particularly high in the morning. Sometimes I also experience some blood sugar spikes after meals. Is this the reason why I got more amniotic fluid and bigger AC of the fetus?
In one episode, I was shocked to learn that the fetus has gained 700g. A week prior to that my immunologist said: there was not much growth in fetal weight. My fetus has disproportionate growth of head, limbs and abdomen. I went crazy eating. Btw, Was it a measurement error? Is there an abnormality on my baby? Was it caused by too much amino acid? i don't thnik amino acid is the culprit since my albumin is on the low side. Oops, perhaps the amino acid has caused too much weight gain on the fetus. I feel one of the contributor of my stress is really the accuracy of my ultrasound measurements. Grrr... A week after the fetus has dropped 400g. Measurement error?
Crazy! Finally, I dont want to over eat. Come what may. I will let amino acid dictate the outcome. I hope my fetus can eventually reach 2.5 kg ( +/- 10%) by the end of week 35.
2. Dim ultrasounds - low progesterone
3. Irregular shaped gestational sac week 6
4. Bluffed by obgyne regarding amniotic fluid level week 7
5. Kct, drvvt - i have soya and tofu quota. I detest its taste.
6. Low albumin- i eat like a vacuum cleaner. I may habe to shake my tummy to fill more food. My protein intake was never enough
7. Sleepless
8. Bloated stomach
9. Ultrasound measurements - gestational diabetes issue and intrauterine growth retardation issue
Overall, I feel a am lucky compared to those who suffers morning sickness. My main stress factor is food intake. I just feel like I am stucked in the opinions of my three doctors during my third trimester. I sometimes suspect on the accuracy of my obgyne's ultrasound measurements. Sometimes the abdominal circumference is lagging. One time the abdominal circumference was 4 weeks ahead. Too much amniotic fluid and low amniotic fluid. Do I really have gestational diabetes? Should i be really on insulin? Why sometimes I experience hypoglycemia? Obgyne told me not to diet, I should take insulin instead. Immunologist told me that my target albumin level is 39. It had dropped from 42 and My albumin was just around 36 even when I am on 42 tablets of amino acids. My target fetal weight gain is 150g per week. Unfortunately, I was not on track but I am always full. He adjusted the target week gain per week to 200g. I need to catch up. He added Heraclene in order to enhance my protein absorption and to boost my appetite even further. Because, the fetus should hit the target weight of 2.5kg by the end of week 35. Ouch, ouch intrauterine growth retardation? I should eat more protein enriched foods. I remember one time during the consult my husband called me to ask what do I want for midnight snack? My immunologist smiled and replied: beef tenderloin. Ehem... Endocrinologist asked me not to over eat. Maximum weight gain 1 kg/ week for me. I am gaining about 2kg/week. My sugar is usually within normal range. My insulin resistance is particularly high in the morning. Sometimes I also experience some blood sugar spikes after meals. Is this the reason why I got more amniotic fluid and bigger AC of the fetus?
In one episode, I was shocked to learn that the fetus has gained 700g. A week prior to that my immunologist said: there was not much growth in fetal weight. My fetus has disproportionate growth of head, limbs and abdomen. I went crazy eating. Btw, Was it a measurement error? Is there an abnormality on my baby? Was it caused by too much amino acid? i don't thnik amino acid is the culprit since my albumin is on the low side. Oops, perhaps the amino acid has caused too much weight gain on the fetus. I feel one of the contributor of my stress is really the accuracy of my ultrasound measurements. Grrr... A week after the fetus has dropped 400g. Measurement error?
Crazy! Finally, I dont want to over eat. Come what may. I will let amino acid dictate the outcome. I hope my fetus can eventually reach 2.5 kg ( +/- 10%) by the end of week 35.
Saturday, August 22, 2015
How does it like on post partum?
How does it like being a mom? I just fired my new hired nanny and house maid. I have no luck. I fired six already. I am still searching. Can I do survive without any helpers around?
Is the c-section wound painful? I cant imagine myself not taking a bath for three weeks. Fried pigeon and black chicken will soon be my permanent staple. How will I look like a month from now? Is it fat, fatter or fattest?
Can I really do latching on breastfeeding? Will I have a post partum flare - uveitis and ankylosing spondylitis?
Is the c-section wound painful? I cant imagine myself not taking a bath for three weeks. Fried pigeon and black chicken will soon be my permanent staple. How will I look like a month from now? Is it fat, fatter or fattest?
Can I really do latching on breastfeeding? Will I have a post partum flare - uveitis and ankylosing spondylitis?
11 days to go and my holy bracelet
During this pregnancy, I got nightmares about ghosts trying to take away my baby from my womb. I dreamt of praying for safety. I remember last time when I had spotting, I also got that sort of nightmare. The ghost was trying to suck away the soul of my fetus from my womb. I also dreamt of robbers or bad guys kicking my womb.
When I woke up, I tend to remeber only a small fragment of my dreams. It is either: i am being chased by bad guys or ghosts and my bracelet was protecting me from evil. Are those warning signs for miscarriage? Perhaps, my dreams reflect my pessimism.
It is 11 days to go before my c-section. I cannot imagine how near I am to my delivery day. 11 days seems too long to me. I forgot the exact dream last night. I just remember when I prayed in my dream and I was not wearing a holy bracelet. Was it a coincidence? I dont wear that holy bracelet to sleep every night. Sometimes, I got those ghost dreams if I forgot to wear my bracelet.
I got that bracelet from my mom. She bought it for me when we went to China temple for pilgrim. Is this a psychologic thing or what? How can I comment? There is no scientific evidence to prove the efficacy of amulet. I cant imagine how my subconsciousness was programmed : wearing my bracelet confers protection against evil. Anyways, I hope I am really blessed by God on this pregnancy. I wish to go to the China temple again to offer my gratitude after giving birth.
Up to now, I cannot imagine myself carrying the baby, breastfeeding and the likes. I pray for smooth delivery and happy healthy baby.
When I woke up, I tend to remeber only a small fragment of my dreams. It is either: i am being chased by bad guys or ghosts and my bracelet was protecting me from evil. Are those warning signs for miscarriage? Perhaps, my dreams reflect my pessimism.
It is 11 days to go before my c-section. I cannot imagine how near I am to my delivery day. 11 days seems too long to me. I forgot the exact dream last night. I just remember when I prayed in my dream and I was not wearing a holy bracelet. Was it a coincidence? I dont wear that holy bracelet to sleep every night. Sometimes, I got those ghost dreams if I forgot to wear my bracelet.
I got that bracelet from my mom. She bought it for me when we went to China temple for pilgrim. Is this a psychologic thing or what? How can I comment? There is no scientific evidence to prove the efficacy of amulet. I cant imagine how my subconsciousness was programmed : wearing my bracelet confers protection against evil. Anyways, I hope I am really blessed by God on this pregnancy. I wish to go to the China temple again to offer my gratitude after giving birth.
Up to now, I cannot imagine myself carrying the baby, breastfeeding and the likes. I pray for smooth delivery and happy healthy baby.
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