Merry Christmas Alex

Merry Christmas Alex. How shall we celebrate your first Christmas? Oops.. It is your second christmas. I almost forget you have spent your first christmas in the freezer together with your 6 siblings (embryos).

How is it like to be kept in the freezer? What are your five remaining siblings doing? Are they having fun? I have just received the bill for their ( embryo ) storage. Shall I have an embryo transfer again next year? Pregnancy and giving birth is a bit challenging to me.

Dehydrated cow

I feel like a dehydrated cow. My baby seems to be permanently latched to my breast. Did I overfeed my baby? The pediatrician always assures me that my milk supply is sufficient. I cant help to compare my baby to his cousin. One week after birth my sister's baby weighs 4 kg, while my baby weighs 2.9 kg only. I once once scolded for benchmarking. Am i willing to swap my baby with my sister?

What is the reason for my low milk let-down? Despite of 20 ml pump output or sometimes even lower at 8th week, Our pediatrician still convince me to breastfeed without cow's milk supplement. My baby is not a cow. She said I have many allergies and I should not switch to cow's milk. She doesnt want to introduce foreign protein to my baby. Shhh... I did one dose in the past secretly. The bstool was too sticky. Shhh.... I should have told her. Anyway, I will test my patience and endurance. Up to when can I sustain breastfeeding?

What is wrong if we introduce foreign protein to my baby. Sooner or later he will be eating ice cream,    Chocolates , and other milk products.

Ouch... My joints

Ouch... Joint pain. What  could this be?

I had tested my esr and hba1c on my own intitive. My esr is 33. Could this mean low grade inflammation? Is this caused by my autoimmune disorder?  my hba1c is 5.6. My hba1c had increased. Could this mean my insulin resistance had worsen?

I went to an endocrinologist and complained to him: joint paint + post partum weight gain. Could this be postpartum thyroditis? Like an old vechicle, I need a total tune up. I guess the thyroid test turns out negative. I cannot interpret. I havent go back to my endocrinologist yet.

I hate to go to see my rheumatologist. I feel she can just help to alleviate my symptoms but there is no breakthrough cure.

Could my esr related to my anti phospholipid antibody activity?

Job well done, what is next?

My birthing experience is water under the bridge. My new challenge is to have a second round of embryo transfer or not? I like to have another baby but I am afraid of my birthing ordeal.

I am now 39 years old, I need to decide and act fast. One more baby or not? How many embryo shall we transfer? Huahuahua... The crying sound of my baby if he is hungry. What if I have twins with double huahuahua? It is challenging. I can imagine that I am carrying two babies under my armpit and breastfeeding at the same time. My son's pedia is against milk formula.

Before everything else, can we have a successful implantation?  My prepregnancy weight was 130 lbs . During pregnancy, my weight was 170 lbs. Now, it is 160 lbs. where did my excess weight go?  Should I lose weight? Whatelse should I do to increase my chance of implantation success? I am not confident that we may succeed the second time around. Am I officially declared as 'fertile' mom?

I hate my anesthesiologist

I hate my anesthesiologist. I should have backed out before the c-section. But, I was transfused with blood products already. I don't want to call off the c-section that day. Should I trust this arrogant anesthesiologist?

I told him that I am allergic to three local anesthetics. He gave me a sarcastic reply: doctors cant be a good accountant. And accountants cant be a good doctor. I guess this was his most polite reply. This is short of saying mind your own business.

This is dumb I do, dumb I dont situation. i will be blamed for anti untowards incident that may happened to me if I dont declare before the procedure that I am allergic to some anesthestetics. If I tell the doctor that I am allergic to some local anesthetics, he feels I am a know-it-all person, as if I am trying to compete with his bread and butter. Hey! It is my right to be informed as a patient.

He said nobody gets allergy from local anesthetics. He will be using preservative free anesthetics. Then, I asked what anesthetics shall he use? He replied: he will not put his license at stake for my operation. Wow! That sounds reassurance ah. People develop allergy from preservatives only! Noted, sir!

I remember during the procedure he put gas into my nose. I just dont know what gas is it. When, I was in the recovery room, I saw red light blinking in their monitor. I try to peep on the monitor, but i was helplessly unable to carry my body. I was too tried to talk, Too tired to ask what went wrong. I was then put into trendelenburg position. Hmmm... What went wrong? How much was my blood pressure?  A week after my discharge, I asked the hospital to release my medical record particularly the anesthesia record. Ouch, my blood pressure was 70/40. I guess I had made a correct reading.

I remember before discharging me from the recovery room this arrogant anesthesiologist told me that I may experience itch. It is not allergy but it is a reaction to morphine. He has prescribed an antidote. I then said: not benadryl yah! He gave me the assurance that the antidote to itch is not benadryl. It is Nubain. Nubain contains preservatives. I got difficulty breathing right after. Is it the result of my anesthesiologist negligence?

By the way, what is the credential of Dr. William Billy Ong ?

my birthing experience

On the eve of my baby's birthing day, I was transfused with 3 packs of fresh frozen plasma. Unfortunately, I had reaction to the second pack of fresh frozen plasma. I have developed uticarial rashes. I was put on intravenous Benadryl 50mg. Then, the nurse told me that the medicine was a bit sharp and painful when injected. True enough, in a few seconds I have felt the drug running up my vein towards my lungs. Then, I complained I have difficulty in breathing. I felt like passing out. My companion said she can feel my neck veins while I was breathing as if I was striving to breathe. I should have been sedated by Benadryl but I am afraid to sleep. I felt something bad may happen and I have chills also. My companion told me that my voice was terribly weak. I just uttered:  aircon off, I cant breathe, press buzzer. Moments later, several hospital coming in and out of my room. After few more minutes, I felt a painful contraction. Then, I began to worry about my baby. Did I just had a drug overdose? Is my baby still alive? I wanted to cry. I am so near to giving birth yet it seems I cannot control my fate. I prayed and I just surrender to my fate. Life is really unfair. Poor me, where is my husband? I dont have the energy to inform him about my tragedy. I was awake but drowsy, but i can feel hospital staffs coming in and out of my room. According to my companion, they seem are in panic mode. Then, the resident doctor rushed to checked my baby's heartbeat with a portable doppler. I was relieved to hear that the baby is still alive.

It was 4 am already, I tried to sleep but I could not. I was too weak to move also. I manage to negotiate a 5 minutes extension because I wish to take a bath first before going to the delivery room. I arrived the delivery room at 5:05 am. I was 5 minutes late but the doctors just came at around 6:15 am.  Poor me, I should have a one hour extension instead of 5 minutes extension.

I was around 6:30 when they curled my body like a shrimp and injected a local anesthetics on my spine. i felt like being electrocuted by several thousands of thin wires. Shortly after, I lose control on my legs. Then, they crucified me. they put blood pressure monitor on my right arms and hook morphine on my left arm.

I never thought the medicine on my left hand was morphine. Did morphine let me felt like in  cloud nine? I felt my legs were floating. But, I cannot control my legs. I can control my head only during the procedure. I was helpless. My life was in the hands of my obgyne and anesthesiologist.  I was shattering, my teeth was clenching and my arms was shaking throughout the entire procedure. I had developed an intense itch from morphine after the procedure. I tried to withstand the itch. Finally, I gave in about 4:30pm. Then, they gave me Nubain- anti itch and anti pain ya. It sounds nice! We can strike two birds with one stone. unfortunately, less than 5 minutes after injecting Nubain, I felt intense heat running down my feet. I was sweating and I had difficulty in breathing. my respiratory rythm was one short inhale and followed by two exhales.

then, I sent an sms to my Obgyne: minimal meds, pls! No more anti-itch and pain killers! I will withstand the pain! is my jinx a product of ghost month? or is it negligence on part of my doctors.

today is platelet aphresis day

My husband brought a donor to Red Cross for platelet aphresis. How come he was labelled as Type O+ blood before? We have done the screening last week. How come Red Cross just told us in the last minute that our donor is of different blood type?

We were caught empty handed. Where shall we get a replacement donor? It is a disaster!  Can I postpone the c-section  a day later?  Is my amniotic fluid still within the safe level? Come what may.

I pray for a successful delivery.