I am not too imaginative but I feel my tummy had bulged a bit. My weight remains 130 pounds. I am acting like a pig these days. Eat, sleep, eat and sleep. Luckily, I dont feel that I look like a pig yet. My BMI is 21. My gynecologist had put me on house arrest. At least, my sleep has improved these days.
Bulging tummy means more space for my subcutaneus injections. ^.^ Fluid retention, sweating, hormonal imbalance and abnormal blood pressure swing is not uncommon.
Ei, what is Disuse Syndrome? Am I put under house arrest because of the risk of miscarriage or the risk of getting infection?
Saturday, January 31, 2015
Relax
Whilst CRP + and DRVVT have increased, I find myself relaxed. Hehe, ignorance is bliss. I can sense that my immunologist is on panic mode. Last night, he asked me when is my next check up with my gynecologist? I told him this coming friday. He prescribed Transderm Nitro patch to dilate my blood vessels. In the middle of a certain topic he asked again when is my next consult with my gynecologist? I asked if he wants me to move my check up to an earlier schedule?
Oh, never mind. He wants another bhcg and progesterone test to check the embryo's health. Ultrasound is useless for now. I need to see him again on Wednesday. Ooops, is my name included in his vip list? What time was my last dose of Imuran? It sounds scary. Let him do the worrying. ^.^ I seat back and watch him do his craft. Relax!
Next friday's ordeal- the heart beat. Sometimes I still ask myself : am I dreaming? I cannot believe that I am becoming a mom soon. I pray for a heart beat and successful pregnancy.
Oh, never mind. He wants another bhcg and progesterone test to check the embryo's health. Ultrasound is useless for now. I need to see him again on Wednesday. Ooops, is my name included in his vip list? What time was my last dose of Imuran? It sounds scary. Let him do the worrying. ^.^ I seat back and watch him do his craft. Relax!
Next friday's ordeal- the heart beat. Sometimes I still ask myself : am I dreaming? I cannot believe that I am becoming a mom soon. I pray for a heart beat and successful pregnancy.
Friday, January 30, 2015
5w4d
My blood pressure is 126/66. In the past, the average was 100~110/ 60~70. Could this be a sign of preeclampsia? The nurse said she prays for twins. How many do implantation do I pray for? I was speechless. I asked myself: what if I had twins? Am I expecting higher blood pressure in the next few weeks? Come what may!
Shortly after greeting my gynecologist, I cried. I don't understand why my new gynecologist keeps on pushing me to go back to my monstrous gynecologist. Is she teasing me or she really meant it? Hehe, she was shocked to see me crying. ^.^ I hope not to hear my monstrous gynecologist name again. I have stuffy nose and headache now. I can't control my emotions.
The gestational sac is now visible. This is a singleton pregnancy. Thank god.
Gestational Sac: 0.81cm
Yolk sac: 0.33 cm
Since, a pulmonologist has ruled out that I have Koch's lesion. I am safe to take Imuran. Imuran started this afternoon. She said it is too early to have high ESR. I trust and surrender.
Shortly after greeting my gynecologist, I cried. I don't understand why my new gynecologist keeps on pushing me to go back to my monstrous gynecologist. Is she teasing me or she really meant it? Hehe, she was shocked to see me crying. ^.^ I hope not to hear my monstrous gynecologist name again. I have stuffy nose and headache now. I can't control my emotions.
The gestational sac is now visible. This is a singleton pregnancy. Thank god.
Gestational Sac: 0.81cm
Yolk sac: 0.33 cm
Since, a pulmonologist has ruled out that I have Koch's lesion. I am safe to take Imuran. Imuran started this afternoon. She said it is too early to have high ESR. I trust and surrender.
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Of prophecy
Should I or should I not believe in the prophecy that the end of the world is on February 5, 2015? To me, prophecy is a non sense. To see is to believe. Shhh... I still have the tendency to believe that my doctors are doing some prophecy on me.
... my immune cells may flare during pregnancy
... immune suppressants may cause cancer
... I should use minimal suppression because gynecologist believes that....
....I should use maximum suppression because immunologist believes that...
I am stuck in between. What is wrong in believing in prophecy? What will I lose if I believe? I am afraid to verify reality of these prophecy. But, who is the supreme prophet? I am confused. I wish to tell Simon2 that Simon1 asked me to take Imuran.
It maybe too late. I am still optimistic that I can surpass my first panic moments. After all, I believe other doctors don't use Imuran anyway.
... my immune cells may flare during pregnancy
... immune suppressants may cause cancer
... I should use minimal suppression because gynecologist believes that....
....I should use maximum suppression because immunologist believes that...
I am stuck in between. What is wrong in believing in prophecy? What will I lose if I believe? I am afraid to verify reality of these prophecy. But, who is the supreme prophet? I am confused. I wish to tell Simon2 that Simon1 asked me to take Imuran.
It maybe too late. I am still optimistic that I can surpass my first panic moments. After all, I believe other doctors don't use Imuran anyway.
My first panic- inflammation
I regret of my decision of postponing Imuran. I will rush to my gynecologist today. I was warn that my immune cells might flare during pregnancy. Wait! Let us see if it is true to the entire population. Let us see if it will happen to me. A decade ago while I had uveitis and arthritis, i remember my ESR never gone beyond 40. I never had systemic inflammation.
ESR -erythocyte sedimentation rate is a measure of inflammation activity. The normal value is less than 20. The presence of Crp - C reactive protein means I have a systemic inflammation. No wonder I feel slight mucle pain.
Jan 23- ESR - 23; CRP -
Jan 28- ESR - 45; CRP +
I thought my immune cells are quiet this time. I just have lymphocyte immunization therapy. I was so happy not to see any pustules. Although, I havent seen Simon. From now on, I will play the Simon Says Game. Simon says: take Imuran. Yes, Simon!
It is confusing. There are two Simons.
ESR -erythocyte sedimentation rate is a measure of inflammation activity. The normal value is less than 20. The presence of Crp - C reactive protein means I have a systemic inflammation. No wonder I feel slight mucle pain.
Jan 23- ESR - 23; CRP -
Jan 28- ESR - 45; CRP +
I thought my immune cells are quiet this time. I just have lymphocyte immunization therapy. I was so happy not to see any pustules. Although, I havent seen Simon. From now on, I will play the Simon Says Game. Simon says: take Imuran. Yes, Simon!
It is confusing. There are two Simons.
My progesterone had dropped
I had my 5 day blastocyst transfer on Jan 13.
Jan 21 (4w1d) E2 -11568; Hcg- 99.25; P4-52.58
Jan 23 (4w3d) Hcg- 332.13; P4- 57.94
Jan 27 (5w0d) Hcg- 2761.09; P4-38.8
My progesterone had dropped. Pessimism started to bug me. Few days ago, my friend had failed ivf. Our cycle was only 5 days apart. She had uterine biophysical score of 19/20. I could not believe she had an implantation failure. She had LIT and 3x ivig. I began to suspect that there was lapse on part of our immunologist. Oh no! Or perhaps, something went wrong with her th1:th2 again. Our case is very similar. But, we don't share the same ivf doctor. Or is it the lapse of her ivf doctor.
Could I be having a blighted ovum? But, we transferred two embryo. I pray for at least one implanted embryo. Let it be. I don't know if I deserve god's grace. I will cry if there is no gestational sac on saturday. (5w5d). Scary! I still have the Jayden's Coke Deprivation Syndrome within me. ^.^ I have never outgrown my emotions. What should I do next, if I have failed pregnancy?
I feel slight throbbing sometimes in my pelvic area. I hope the throbbing is not in the fallopian tube.
What is anti-progesterone antibody? Grrr... I miss my beloved immunologist.
Jan 21 (4w1d) E2 -11568; Hcg- 99.25; P4-52.58
Jan 23 (4w3d) Hcg- 332.13; P4- 57.94
Jan 27 (5w0d) Hcg- 2761.09; P4-38.8
My progesterone had dropped. Pessimism started to bug me. Few days ago, my friend had failed ivf. Our cycle was only 5 days apart. She had uterine biophysical score of 19/20. I could not believe she had an implantation failure. She had LIT and 3x ivig. I began to suspect that there was lapse on part of our immunologist. Oh no! Or perhaps, something went wrong with her th1:th2 again. Our case is very similar. But, we don't share the same ivf doctor. Or is it the lapse of her ivf doctor.
Could I be having a blighted ovum? But, we transferred two embryo. I pray for at least one implanted embryo. Let it be. I don't know if I deserve god's grace. I will cry if there is no gestational sac on saturday. (5w5d). Scary! I still have the Jayden's Coke Deprivation Syndrome within me. ^.^ I have never outgrown my emotions. What should I do next, if I have failed pregnancy?
I feel slight throbbing sometimes in my pelvic area. I hope the throbbing is not in the fallopian tube.
What is anti-progesterone antibody? Grrr... I miss my beloved immunologist.
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
Contaminated water
Oh no, I accidentally sipped a mouthful of contaminated water. I pray it will not result in diarrhea. Let us see the efficacy of my ivig. I will eat yogurt later.
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