im bleeding

Grrr... Am I a victim clumsy obstetrician? She did not check my polyp last Friday. I noticed fresh blood stain on the tissue paper as I wiped my genitals about 10 pm on Sunday. An hour later, my panty was soaked with blood. Oh my god! Do I need to go to the hospital? I was thinking that my polyp was torn. I am still on blood thinner maybe that had worsen the bleeding.

What shall I do in the hospital? I can imagine a bunch of funny residents attending to my emergency needs. Ouch! Those bunch of people do not even know how to use a thermometer! Huhu... my previous blog. If I go to the hospital, I will be a helpless victim. What is my position to argue that I don't want electric cautery? I feel I am safer at home.  I feel I just need a topical blood clotting agent to apply on my polyp wound. I guess the bleeding does not jeopardize the fetus.

I pray my hunch is correct. If in a hour my napkin gets soaked with blood, I will rush to the hospital.

It is a girl, perhaps

Today is 12w5 d.

My husband was very happy after learning the first unofficial gender announcement. Wahaha... It is a girl. It is too early to tell. My obstetrician showed me the structure. It looks like a female genitals. So far so good. My placenta thickness is also normal.

Do I want a girl or a boy? Ehem... I still prefer a girl because of ankylosing spondylitis concerns. Come what may,

ignorance is bliss

I woke up at 2:30 am and I can't fall back to sleep. Was it because of steriod? I mistakenly swapped morning and evening medicines. Prednisone must not be taken in the evening otherwise it can cause insomnia. I was thinking last night whether should I take that dose or simply skip it.

Ignorance is a bliss. Had I know nothing about Prenetics Verifi, I guess I will not be under such stress. Perhaps the true reason for my insomnia was I feel I was restricted. I wish to go to Hong Kong  for such blood test but my obstetrician refused to let me fly. I just feel I have a deadline to beat ... shh... I need to go to Hong Kong to tighten up my loose screws, otherwise I am getting crazy!

I just wonder does any couple think of chromosome abnormality before making love? Back in my mind I still think IVF is technology vs nature. Do I really have the blessing from god? I hope prayers do help! Think positive! I pray that the first karyotype study of my husband was just a lab error.

Dear God,
Please grant us a happy healthy and intelligent baby.

Home Sweet Home

When it rains, it floods. When it floods, did it rain? Maybe the fire hydrant nearby had just burst causing the flooding. Just kidding...

When there is swelling, there must be an inflammation. My placenta thickens. It is an indication of inflammation. He said my antiphospholipid antibody is attacking the placenta. My KCT is 130 and my DRVVT is 40.

My 7 liters soya milk and 3.5 kilograms of bean curd last week was not effective ya. I ended up with Smoflipid infusion shortly after the consultation with my immunologist last night. I just got home 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
 

The culprit of my spotting- polyp

I regret lifting the vacuum cleaner. I regret vacuuming my bed. I thought this caused the spotting. Shh... my secret. I dare not to send her message or to call her. I am not playing with reason yah! Her strict instruction was: stay at home. But, I never remembered that she mentioned "bed rest."

She went abroad for seven days. Part of me wanted to consult another obgyne, part of me wanted to consult her reliever and other part of me wanted to wait for her. I am indecisive. I just had an ultrasound last Friday, Why should I have another ultrasound in 3 days? I know she dislikes very frequent ultrasound. Was there still a heartbeat? What can I do when there is no more heartbeat? I believe it is quite safe. I decided to wait til she comes back. In the events of painful cramps, I am prepared to go to the emergency room.

After the 7 days wait, I finally got to see her this morning. I have a 2.5 cm long cervical polyp and it was dangling. She showed it to my husband. She just did a chemical cautery. The ultrasound was great.  I told her I want to go to Hong Kong for blood test. She said she will not allow me to fly. She then told my husband that she wanted to scold me. Hehe, are we friends yet? I wasnt scolded. Hehe, her first time to meet my husband. Shhh... she was quite finness today. She said nothing to worry about the reciprocal translocation, The nuchal translucency is OK. I take her word for it. Gee... learning hard to trust!

I should choose to be happy and carefree.

Life is a matter of choice. Either I choose to be happy or I choose worry. Worrying is tormenting oneself with disturbing thoughts. Oopss... did my disturbing thoughts happen already? It seems worrying is integrated to my brain waves. This brings me the memoir of my father: planning, scheduling and decision making I always get scolded when I was younger because I have puny in this aspect.

I just feel worrying is part of my planning activity. Questions like:

- What if I have failed implantation, what shall I do next? Should I do a PGD?

- What if my fetus has genetic abnormality, what shall I do next?

- In the event of miscarriage, what shall I do next?

I often see expectant parents so happy scheduling their 20th week ultrasound- for gender detection or happily scheduling their 4D ultrasound for album and keepsake. I look at my 20th week ultrasound as a scary ultrasound- congenital anomaly scan. When should I schedule my congenital anomaly scan? Can it be one or two weeks earlier? This is to give way for the amniocentesis in the event of doubt. I have a deadline to beat- 24th week. It is unlawful to do abortion after 24th week of pregnancy in Hong Kong. I need to book my ivf doctor.  

Grrr... why am I thinking too much? After all, pregnancy is a gift of God. Sad to say, back in my mind: there is a little battle between technology and nature. I should choose to be happy and carefree.

Dear God, 

Thank you for this pregnancy.

Sleepless again- nipt

I was insomniac since last Sunday. Was caused by hormonal imbalance? Or was a result of my chromosome worries. I am afraid that I will be exceeding the allowable time frame for the first trimester Down Syndrome screening. Based on my inquires to few labs here, PAPP-A is not available in the Philippines. I was interested to book the biochemical screening for Down Syndrome + NT scan in Hong Kong. But, since I am spotting, I am not fit to travel. Ouch... the thought of my husband's first karyotype study was seriously bugging me.

Fortunately, there is a test that checks the fetal chromosome from the maternal blood stream. http://prenetics.com/expecting-parents/overview/  There are many biotech companies offering such service. Wow! I salute to technology!

Unfortunately, no such facility exist in Manila. Hong Kong was my only hope. I called the nurse where I did my ivf. I was trying my best to convince them that I want to courier my blood without going to Hong Kong.

What if I just do a phone in consultation? When should I go to HK? I am not certain when can I go to HK? What week will my immune system be least active? What if only my husband shows up in the consultation with my ivf doctor? And he carries with him my blood samples? If they give me the packing specifications for blood, I am 100% confident that we can send my blood via courier without problem, I occasionally would send out my blood to Chicago for immune testing. What is nuchal transluceny? If the fluid level on the nape of my fetus is low, should I still take the Verifi blood test?

If  I go to HK and have the Verifi test, only to find out my spotting is not good... Ouch! what is the cause of my spotting?