Today is day14. It seems my ovulation is a bit late. Anyway, I had my HCG trigger already. Estradiol 600, progesterone 0.45. Urine LH negative. Shhh... I forgot to wait for the ivf doctor's comment. I just injected the trigger.
Tuesday, January 6, 2015
My inhibitions- Lymphocyte Immunization Therapy and Neupogen
It is a step by step process. First step, resistance. Why should i have LIT (Lymphocte immunization Therapy)? I believe I can get pregnant even without LIT. Second step, understanding. I try to understand how LIT works. I feel My grasp of understanding is less than 40%. Nevertheless, I tried. Third step, acceptance.
If LIT is banned in America, why should I try it? If it is banned, I will think of two sides. One, it is unproven. To protect the safety of the public, the government needs to ban it. Second, it is banned because it is lobbied by pharmaceuticals? Ivig is also a blood product marketed by the giant pharmaceuticals. They are competing profitability with several thousands of unknown doctors.
Maybe I am brain washed but I voluntarily wanted to have LIT. Is it because my stubborn fairy godmother also changed her stand? My fairy godmother does not believe in immunology as a factor of infertility. After series of debate, she asked me to have LIT. She said it is to increase the chance of pregnancy. Case closed! I believe in immunology as a factor for my infertility. I had LIT done. I said in the past that I will wait for miscarriage to happen first before believing in immunology.
---
How about Neuopogen? First step, resistance. Second step, resistance. Third step is also a resistance I guess. I try to understand but the comprehension is still vague for now. Neupogen involves stimulating the bone marrow to produce more white blood cell. Bone aches, ouch, ouch and what is the benefit? If I have plenty of white blood cells that means I have magnified my nk cell? I will be more resistant to infection, more nk cells to kill the embryo? Uhum... Wrong... We want Neupogen because it can stimulate the tropoblast growth factor. I just emailed my hematologist in HK. He confirmed gcsf receptor is found in cancer cells of leukemia. It is safe to me even if I have family history of cancer. Why? Because my tnf-alpha is high or because I don't have cancer yet for now?
With LIT, I have heard of several success stories within my circle of friends. With Neupogen, it seems that drug is new or not yet available in our market. Where can I find success stories. Do we have Neupogen teens already? Its safety on the fetus is already established? Maybe I am not yet prepared. I dont feel the benefit outweighs the risk. According to my ivf doctor, they use Neupogen on patients that experience implantation failure even with ivig and lit. I am not cursing myself. I wait for implantation failure to happen first before deciding to believe in gscf. Can neupogen cause leukemia in fetus?
If LIT is banned in America, why should I try it? If it is banned, I will think of two sides. One, it is unproven. To protect the safety of the public, the government needs to ban it. Second, it is banned because it is lobbied by pharmaceuticals? Ivig is also a blood product marketed by the giant pharmaceuticals. They are competing profitability with several thousands of unknown doctors.
Maybe I am brain washed but I voluntarily wanted to have LIT. Is it because my stubborn fairy godmother also changed her stand? My fairy godmother does not believe in immunology as a factor of infertility. After series of debate, she asked me to have LIT. She said it is to increase the chance of pregnancy. Case closed! I believe in immunology as a factor for my infertility. I had LIT done. I said in the past that I will wait for miscarriage to happen first before believing in immunology.
---
How about Neuopogen? First step, resistance. Second step, resistance. Third step is also a resistance I guess. I try to understand but the comprehension is still vague for now. Neupogen involves stimulating the bone marrow to produce more white blood cell. Bone aches, ouch, ouch and what is the benefit? If I have plenty of white blood cells that means I have magnified my nk cell? I will be more resistant to infection, more nk cells to kill the embryo? Uhum... Wrong... We want Neupogen because it can stimulate the tropoblast growth factor. I just emailed my hematologist in HK. He confirmed gcsf receptor is found in cancer cells of leukemia. It is safe to me even if I have family history of cancer. Why? Because my tnf-alpha is high or because I don't have cancer yet for now?
With LIT, I have heard of several success stories within my circle of friends. With Neupogen, it seems that drug is new or not yet available in our market. Where can I find success stories. Do we have Neupogen teens already? Its safety on the fetus is already established? Maybe I am not yet prepared. I dont feel the benefit outweighs the risk. According to my ivf doctor, they use Neupogen on patients that experience implantation failure even with ivig and lit. I am not cursing myself. I wait for implantation failure to happen first before deciding to believe in gscf. Can neupogen cause leukemia in fetus?
Monday, January 5, 2015
How many embryos to put back?
The ivf doctor asked how many embryos are we putting back. I replied two. Oops, I forget to mention my grandfather has a twin brother. My mother has miscarried a set of twins. (Shhhh... Not pregnancy related complication...) secret!
What are the risk of multiple pregnancy? Many to mention... Preeclampsia is included in the risk. If we transfer two, chances are one may split into twins making the fetus = 3. Preeclampsia is very common for immunologic patient. I heard so many stories of 31~32 weeks pre term delivery. I don't like to decide. To me, having twins means I am dividing the survival chance by half.
Recently, I heard the sad story of the quadruplets. The mother has immune problem and she had a premature labor. Then one by one the babies died in the NICU. The last time I heard was only one left but still in the NICU. Preeclampsia is unavoidable. Complete bed rest cannot prevent it either.
Another sad story was my friend's wife had a preterm delivery because she suddenly developed immune problem during pregnancy. Both babies were sent to NICU, sad to say after a week of discharge, one died. The baby who died had retinopathy of prematurity. Oh my god!
If we put one only but it was not able to implant. This sounds like my coin tossing theory. One coin= 50% of getting a head. Two coins= 75% chance of getting at least a head. The embryo transfer cost is the same- no matter what is the count.
Finally, I asked my ivf doctor to decide for me. Hehe, he is smart! He just said we will decide this issue together. ^.^
http://www.oneatatime.org.uk/37.htm
http://www.oneatatime.org.uk/38.htm
What are the risk of multiple pregnancy? Many to mention... Preeclampsia is included in the risk. If we transfer two, chances are one may split into twins making the fetus = 3. Preeclampsia is very common for immunologic patient. I heard so many stories of 31~32 weeks pre term delivery. I don't like to decide. To me, having twins means I am dividing the survival chance by half.
Recently, I heard the sad story of the quadruplets. The mother has immune problem and she had a premature labor. Then one by one the babies died in the NICU. The last time I heard was only one left but still in the NICU. Preeclampsia is unavoidable. Complete bed rest cannot prevent it either.
Another sad story was my friend's wife had a preterm delivery because she suddenly developed immune problem during pregnancy. Both babies were sent to NICU, sad to say after a week of discharge, one died. The baby who died had retinopathy of prematurity. Oh my god!
If we put one only but it was not able to implant. This sounds like my coin tossing theory. One coin= 50% of getting a head. Two coins= 75% chance of getting at least a head. The embryo transfer cost is the same- no matter what is the count.
Finally, I asked my ivf doctor to decide for me. Hehe, he is smart! He just said we will decide this issue together. ^.^
http://www.oneatatime.org.uk/37.htm
http://www.oneatatime.org.uk/38.htm
Am I ovulating?- Surprise FET this cycle!
My menstruation came 5 days after my egg retrieval. That menstrual period was abnormally short, 16 days only. I remembered the ivf doctor said my period will come earlier. I need to wait til my period becomes normal and get back to him. I thought I needed two bleeds.
After my follicles were sucked out, I guess nothing left. I thought this was the reason why I don't feel like ovulating. No mucus discharge. My hormones went crazy. Google google... Ai... Better check it out from an obgyne.
Surprise! My endometrium lining is 0.97 cm and my follicle measures 1.96 cm. Wa! I had my urine LH test, It was still negative but there is a faint line already. It will turn positive by tomorrow. I am ovulating in no time. The impression of the ultrasound report says periovulatory. My obgyne was so excited.
To kill her excitement, I told my obgyne that we will use the estrofem cycle. She prefers the natural FET cycle. She said my endometrium lining is perfect and my follicle is ready. When am I flying to Hong Kong? What Am I waiting for? I suddenly felt the rush. When can I have Ivig? When Can I schedule a consultation with my immunologist? Oh my god, saturday night. At least, there is chance. I plan to fly out on Sunday morning.
I emailed my hk ivf doctor to ask the possibility of having the embryo transfer this cycle. Affirmative! I need to have my estradiol and progesterone tested tomorrow morning. Go! Sheila, go! I feel like I am a contestant in the Amazing Race.
After my follicles were sucked out, I guess nothing left. I thought this was the reason why I don't feel like ovulating. No mucus discharge. My hormones went crazy. Google google... Ai... Better check it out from an obgyne.
Surprise! My endometrium lining is 0.97 cm and my follicle measures 1.96 cm. Wa! I had my urine LH test, It was still negative but there is a faint line already. It will turn positive by tomorrow. I am ovulating in no time. The impression of the ultrasound report says periovulatory. My obgyne was so excited.
To kill her excitement, I told my obgyne that we will use the estrofem cycle. She prefers the natural FET cycle. She said my endometrium lining is perfect and my follicle is ready. When am I flying to Hong Kong? What Am I waiting for? I suddenly felt the rush. When can I have Ivig? When Can I schedule a consultation with my immunologist? Oh my god, saturday night. At least, there is chance. I plan to fly out on Sunday morning.
I emailed my hk ivf doctor to ask the possibility of having the embryo transfer this cycle. Affirmative! I need to have my estradiol and progesterone tested tomorrow morning. Go! Sheila, go! I feel like I am a contestant in the Amazing Race.
Saturday, January 3, 2015
Looking forward to consult my immunologist
After resisting him for quite sometime, I feel I trust him more than anyone else. I wish to schedule a consultation with him. I was surprised my HK hematologist has heard of "the midnight doctor". His fame has reached overseas.
My dear immunologist, what will you prescribe this time?
- clexane vs heparin?
- viagra?
- neupogen- yes or no?
- uterine pulsatility any comment?
Whatelse shall we discuss?
My dear immunologist, what will you prescribe this time?
- clexane vs heparin?
- viagra?
- neupogen- yes or no?
- uterine pulsatility any comment?
Whatelse shall we discuss?
Anybody joining my anti neupogen camp?
I am not campaigning against Neupogen or its bio equivalence. I found this web video promoting Neupogen. I saw this doctor's name appear in several blogs as well.
http://www.preventmiscarriage.com/Reproductive-Immunology/Treatments/Neupogen-Filgrastim-.aspx
------
I don't want to use Neupogen. I try to recruit people to join my side so that I can justify my decision on not using Neupogen. It seems nobody is joining me yet.
First potential recruit:
I told my ivf doctor, that I refuse to use Neupogen as prescribed by the hematologist. He said "Neupogen is mainly used in cases where IVIG or LIT have failed in the past. If you feel uncomfortable with it, then maybe you shouldn't use it at least for this cycle of treatment." Hmm... Sounds like he plans to use it in the future ya! One hour later, he emailed "He (hematologist) probably feels that given your immune record, it maybe helpful."
Second potential recruit:
A pharmacologist/toxicologist.
He said all medicines have some risks. if the benefit outweighs the risk go for it. With or without gscf cancer may occur. One or two shots of gcsf may not cause cancer. He has a point!
Third potential recruit:
I want to try my beloved immunologist(Phils) as my third potential recruit. ^.^ Hehehe
Who else?
My concern is Neupogen may cause cancer! Why not talk to my hematologist? After all, he is also a hematological oncologist. Times like this, I need to make my own stand. After all, this is my body.
http://www.preventmiscarriage.com/Reproductive-Immunology/Treatments/Neupogen-Filgrastim-.aspx
------
I don't want to use Neupogen. I try to recruit people to join my side so that I can justify my decision on not using Neupogen. It seems nobody is joining me yet.
First potential recruit:
I told my ivf doctor, that I refuse to use Neupogen as prescribed by the hematologist. He said "Neupogen is mainly used in cases where IVIG or LIT have failed in the past. If you feel uncomfortable with it, then maybe you shouldn't use it at least for this cycle of treatment." Hmm... Sounds like he plans to use it in the future ya! One hour later, he emailed "He (hematologist) probably feels that given your immune record, it maybe helpful."
Second potential recruit:
A pharmacologist/toxicologist.
He said all medicines have some risks. if the benefit outweighs the risk go for it. With or without gscf cancer may occur. One or two shots of gcsf may not cause cancer. He has a point!
Third potential recruit:
I want to try my beloved immunologist(Phils) as my third potential recruit. ^.^ Hehehe
Who else?
My concern is Neupogen may cause cancer! Why not talk to my hematologist? After all, he is also a hematological oncologist. Times like this, I need to make my own stand. After all, this is my body.
Snake and Ladder Game and my journey to fertility
I feel like playing the Snake and Ladder game. I am one month away from the embryo transfer. Now, I am trying to make my calculated move- trying to avoid the snakes. My game has reached its climax as I and my husband are about to reach our goal. I can see the finish line from here. I am nervously praying hard as I must get a 'five' in order to land on a safe space. In one more turn, we will safely reach our goal. My journey to fertility has lots of obstacles. If I roll a 'three', I will be bitten by the snake. And, I need to start over another round of frozen embryo transfer. If I roll a 'six', I will be bitten by the snake. And, I need another round of lymphocyte immunization therapy.
Everyone has finished playing this game already. I am the only player left playing! I am the unluckiest person who keeps on being bitten by the snakes. This game seems like an endless loop to me. Should I blame the dice? Should I blame the rules? Or should I blame my autoimmunity? Why did the other autoimmune patient make it to the finish line? We don't have control over the dice! I surrender to my fate!
What is important right now is to have little more patience. We almost there. Stay positive! Worrying does not increase our chance. If I am bitten by the snake again and start from square one, let us see. I hope I can safely roll a 'five' and everything will be smooth sailing.
I believe everyone can reach the finish line in the Snake and Ladder game. But, Idealism maybe totally different from reality. To me pregnancy is god's grace. What is ought to be shall ought to happen. If I have tried my best but nothing happens, then I should learn to accept my fate.
Lymphocyte immunization therapy, ivig, neupogen, viagra, clexane, prednisolone and whatelse... If this does not result into implantation, I will do pgs on all frozen embryos. If no still no implantation, yay! I surrender to my fate!
What is important right now is to have little more patience. We almost there. Stay positive! Worrying does not increase our chance. If I am bitten by the snake again and start from square one, let us see. I hope I can safely roll a 'five' and everything will be smooth sailing.
I believe everyone can reach the finish line in the Snake and Ladder game. But, Idealism maybe totally different from reality. To me pregnancy is god's grace. What is ought to be shall ought to happen. If I have tried my best but nothing happens, then I should learn to accept my fate.
Lymphocyte immunization therapy, ivig, neupogen, viagra, clexane, prednisolone and whatelse... If this does not result into implantation, I will do pgs on all frozen embryos. If no still no implantation, yay! I surrender to my fate!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)